52 To Do

I tried skiing one time in college 15 years ago and it was an utter disaster.  I hated it and swore I would never do it again it was such a horrible experience.  I went with friends to a lodge in NC where the conditions were more like ice than snow. My friends gave me a few quick pointers and then encouraged me down the blue rated slope we were staying on.  I completely  lost control barreling down the hill and if not for my friend’s boyfriend catching me, I would have gone through a fence into a ravine.

I felt embarrassed, frustrated and most of all scared shitless. I was shaking so badly I had to have him ski me the rest of the way down the mountain where I promptly removed my skiis and spent the rest of the weekend just counting down the minutes to leave.

It’s hard for me to feel like a failure. The perfectionist side of me just wants to be naturally good at everything I do. I should have recognized it was a stupid situation and completely the wrong way to learn how to ski but I chose to decide I just wasn’t good at skiing. It was a failed experiment. End of story.

I’ve come to hate that saying “Failure isn’t an option” because I think it’s total bullshit.  Failure is just a part of life.  I’ve had some pretty big ones that I still struggle with, but I resolved today that skiing was a failure I was ready to overcome.

Today I skied! And it was wonderful!

I was extremely nervous about it at first but taking a lesson on decent snow made all the difference.  Not to mention it was a beautiful day.  My instructor at Eldora, John, from Charlotte, (my hometown) and the instructors shadowing him took every step very slowly and helped me build up my confidence at each stage as I progressed.  I fell down and laughed at myself. I felt like a little old lady hunched over holding a cane going down the hill, but by the end of it I was moving, and turning, and best of all stopping at the bottom of the hill.

I wasn’t afraid anymore and that felt really good.

I’m not going to say those little 3 foot tall kids expertly flying down the hill weren’t a little humiliating to me but the important thing is that I might just love skiing!

Now for a nice hot bath. I’m beat!